Underwear shopping can be miserable, especially when what's looking back at you in the mirror isn't what you want to see. I've been really struggling with my own body image recently, and I've actually gone back to look over all of the parts of my dealing with weight gain series to remind myself that I can handle this, and I can love myself. It's still tough.
I've never been one of those girls who spends every spare penny in Ann Summers, and pops on a lacy thong every morning. I admire them, hell, I'd LOVE to be that comfortable with my own body, but it feels so much more 'me' to pop on a ratty old bra and not try. Because not trying means that I can't be disappointed when I don't feel sexy, right?
My boobs have always been something I'm proud of. They're one part of my body that I genuinely love, and the weight gain hasn't really affected them too much. But not looking in the mirror has. I'd forgotten that I do actually like some parts of my body. I know the whole 'I like my boobs' is a controversial statement because they're often the parts of your body that men comment on, but I love my boobs for me, not because other people like them.
I don't really have a full-length mirror in my home at the moment, so when I went on holiday and was faced with one I was more than a little horrified at first. My body had expanded and I was shocked. I couldn't face it. And then after a few days, I got used to it: this is my body, and it's not going anywhere.
I'm badly in need of some new underwear because of all the reasons above; what's the point in buying sexy bras or pants if you don't think you're attractive, or you hate your body? That's the mindset I had wound up in. I scoured so many shops when I was on holiday last month, and kept just finding bras that were too OTT for what I wanted, and a little out of my budget (I'm looking at you Victoria's Secret), or even just a little too plain. I wanted something that would make me feel sexy, without making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
And then I came across these bralettes. I tried one on in the fitting rooms (which I never normally do) and I fell totally in love. It was the white one btw. It's the softest, most comfy and most delicately beautiful bra that I've ever worn. Looking in the mirror with it on made me realise that I could be sexy, that I still had it in me, despite what I'd told myself because of the weight gain. I couldn't leave without the matching lace thong.
The baby pink bralette isn't quite so comfy on my back, but I love the lace detailing of the back straps. It's a little easier to wear under summer tops than the white one, although I think that the latter could be worn as a crop top for sure.
Red is always a colour that has suited my skin tone, and symbolised sexiness in my mind. When I spotted this red bralette in Aeropostale, I had a vision of how confident it would make me feel, knowing that this was sat under my top. It's so feminine, and so bold for me, and simply makes me feel incredible.
It's been a real learning curve recently to remember to embrace my body and discover that I can still love it, but I'm so glad to have started to make my way on this journey.
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