A 2018 highlight reel

As 2018 draws to a close (I'm hoping I get this up before the clocks strike midnight!), I thought there was no better time to look back over the year and think about all the positives. I totally did my insta stories 2018 highlights a week or so ago, and it got me thinking about the big and little things that made this year a good one. Although there were some downs and struggles, this year was one of the better ones in recent times for me, and I want to be able to look back over all the things that helped me feel this way.

Real fat representation: Dumplin', why we need to watch it, and how we can do better

It's been widely acknowledged for a number of years now that fat representation is a thing that's far too absent from the media, especially from the big screen. We expect a skinny white cis female protagonist in a film, and if actresses don't quite fit that, then they either have to change, or are skipped over in the face of the next girl in line.

3 cheesy Netflix Christmas movies to get you in the festive spirit

It's my favourite time of the year, but I've been silent on here for almost a month now. I've been soaking up all the festive feels, giving myself time to just be me and I started my Christmas shopping (please tell me others aren't anywhere near finished either?!). 

A belated October favourites and life update

I know it's mid-way through November, but this month hasn't gotten off to the best start. I've felt so flat and tired and sad and just not up to blogging or photo taking or life. I'm not going to launch into a whole explanation of why or what's going on too much, as that's a story for next month's roundup, but I thought it deserved at least being addressed. 

Winnie the Pooh bullet journal monthly spread

I'm absolutely LOVING my themed bullet journal spreads for each month, and whilst they're super time-consuming, they make me feel calm and happy, so are totally worth it. I'm now on my fourth themed month(!), and this is the second one I'm sharing with you. 

What I baked for Halloween 2018

I *know* that Halloween is over, but I only just about got these baked in time for the big day and I really want to share them with you all! Halloween isn't one of my favourite times of year (I'm definitely all about the big C-word), but any excuse for getting festive in some way and I'm there. This is the first year I've fully embraced All Hallows Eve and I loved carving pumpkins, wearing dark lipstick and making a whole bunch of tasty treats. 

1001 books to read before you die ~ a 2018 update

Over a year ago now I wrote out the full list of 1001 books you should read before you die (you can find it online here) by hand in an effort to procrastinate. I succeeded at putting off any other task for days, and I've gone one step further now by shading in each book I read from the list with a new colour for every year. I think this gives a pretty accurate insight into the kind of person I am.

Affordable Autumn fashion wishlist

Autumn fashion is the best fashion. Not only is 90% of my whole wardrobe made up of jumpers and bobble hats, but it's a time to embrace boots, layer up and it's not quite cold enough to make you feel miserable. I've rounded up some of my absolute fave Autumn fashion picks from the web at the moment that won't break the bank.

The Tale of Bella and Lord Geastly part four

Here's the final part of the tale of Bella and Lord Geastly! Read part one here, part two here and part three here.

October's Reading in Heels sub box

October seems to be getting away from me - it's absolutely speeding by and I haven't even had a chance to share this month's Reading in Heels box! This one has been a massive hit for me, and I just seem to be getting more and more surprised at just how much they manage to cram into one box. 

Looking at the bigger picture with my 'Me' Journal

Art journaling is something that's great for my mental health, so naturally it's something that I rarely get around to doing. BUT, when I do, it always makes me feel a little chirpier, and adds that extra bit of pep to my step. 

Do bloggers *have* to be relatable?

I love blogging. I love expressing my thoughts in a written way, and learning new skills and interacting on social media. But one of the things I love most is reading other people's blogs, and watching Youtube videos. But if I watched people constantly that reminded me of myself I'd be pretty done with the internet.

Why waste time on negativity?

There's a whole lot of malicious content slamming us in the face all over the internet right now. From vile comments on every single Youtube video you come across, to *that* rant about Mrs Hinch and feminism, it feels as though everyone is on a campaign to destroy any ounce of positivity anyone has. 

The Tale of Bella and Lord Geastly part three

Here's part three, a little later than expected! Read part one here and part two here

My Autumn candle collection

As the leaves start to change and the temperature drops (at least, hopefully: WHY was it 23 degrees yesterday?!), it's time to dust off the candles because finally you want that extra bit of warmth and light and cosiness in your life again.

Things can't always be fixed (and can't always be broken)

Broken skin 
on the knee
of me, aged three
is something that a plaster
could cover and soothe

A broken bone
in the leg
of you, who knew
it was something that plaster
could cover and soothe

A broken tyre
on that car, 
of ours, a mar
that could be replaced
and covered and soothed

But a broken heart
and no joy
from a boy, whose toy
was you, where no words
could fix and soothe the pain 

And broken skin
from the mess
you're in, and over the din
of the voices in your head, 
nothing can fix and soothe you

And a broken home,
from the shouts
and the rage that's at a stage
where it won't go away, 
can't be fixed and soothed

Sometimes life isn't as simple
as a graze from the floor
or a clean break
or a bump on a journey 

Sometimes life is painful
and broken
and the wounds and the thoughts and the mess and the noise and the agony 
can't be fixed in a day or a week or a month or a year
but that's okay, and you're okay
because a soul isn't something that can be broken, 
completely

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Review of 'The Honeymoon' by Tina Seksis - blog collab with Aimee Raindrop Writes

A couple of months ago, myself and Aimee (at Aimee Raindrop Writes) set ourselves a challenge: as blogging besties with a love for books, we decided to each read the other person's three favourite books of all time. You'll have to check out Aimee's blog for the future post on the first of my top three she's read, but for now, here's The Honeymoon by Tina Seksis. 

The Tale of Bella and Lord Geastly Part Two

The second part of my first short story on the blog is about to kick off, so buckle up and get ready!
Read part one here!

September book haul - YA fiction, thrillers and more!

Autumn is when I always seem to get really back into reading. There's nothing better than curling up under a blanket, lighting some candles and turning away from the world for a couple of hours to read on a chilly evening. So it's no surprise that I've picked up a whole selection of new reads in the last month. There are some books in here that I've been wanting to buy for over a year, and I'm so happy to finally see them lining my shelves!

September favourites, feeling proud and getting my Hinch on!

September is always one of my favourite months of the year. Things start to get a little less sweat-filled (thank God), my dressing gown can come out of hibernation, and nature just seems a little more beautiful. Sunsets at this time of year are filled with pink streaks and general beauty, whilst spying the first hint of frost that makes everything sparkle does make me smile too. 

Why it's okay if it's not your day (your week, your month, or even your year)

I'm having a lot of fun with blogging again at the moment, finally tapping into what I've been wanting to do for months, and I think I've spiralled a little out of control with this title. But I mean, has there ever been a better time for a Friends quote?

The Tale of Bella and Lord Geastly (part one)

I've wanted to write a short story to publish in parts on here for the longest time now, and after finally finding something I truly wanted to write, here's the first instalment of The Tale of Bella and Lord Geastly:

I am not a sum

I am not the weight on the scales,
or the width of the tape measure, 
or the size of my feet,
or the length of my hair.

Lilo & Stitch bullet journal monthly spread

It's NO secret at all that I'm a massive Disney fan. It brings me joy and entertainment and nostalgia and there's nothing else that really does exactly that for me. My bujo is pretty much my prized possession (in a 'it's coming with me out of a burning building' kinda way). Filling it in is soothing and helpful and makes my day feel complete, so it seemed natural to combine these two loves.

Being a new driver with anxiety

Passing my driving test was something that had seemed impossible for a whole lot of my life. Right up until I took my first lesson, I was absolutely petrified. Learning to drive for me was filled with moments of overwhelming anxiety (I wanted to cancel every single lesson looming over me), and absolute relief when I passed and no longer had to do it. The one real problem? Now I had to drive with no one else having a brake pedal in the car.

Summer book haul

I never thought I'd be saying this but ... I've been buying fewer books recently, and I'm okay with it. I'm trying to condense my unreasonably huge TBR a little, and buying fewer books means that I'm less likely to get distracted by new reads.

What does 'adulthood' mean to me?

I've officially been an 'adult' for six years and three months now. That's pretty terrifying. There's an expectation that once you hit a certain point (who knows exactly when this is?? 20?? 21?? 18??), you're an adult and there's no going back. 

'Sex, Suicide and Serotonin'* and why we need to talk about adult suicide more (TW)

*This post comes with a trigger warning for the discussion of suicide*
Yesterday was world suicide prevention day, and it's something that dredges up bad memories for me, and it can be a little tough. But, it's a day that I'm glad exists because it starts up conversations that need to be had. 

Blogging isn't a business for me, and I'm (finally) okay with that

I've been struggling with the world of blogging for a few months now, and it really boils down to one thing: I stopped writing because I was passionate and got into this mindset of 'wow I want to be the next Hannah Gale' (no shade to her, because she is my QUEEN). And I mean, it's great to have goals, but I spent a whole lot of time thinking about my blog as a business: focusing on the numbers (and nothing else), looking for ways to make money, and trying to work out best how to market it. 

Learning about 're-grieving' and why it's so important

Grief sucks. To put it lightly. Grief is one of those all-consuming things that I could never even express the pain of. Over the 24 years of my life I've been lucky enough not to lose too many people. However, I have struggled with the loss of both of my granddads (one of whom I saw almost every single day of my childhood), the loss of the sister I grew up with when she became ill and transformed into someone I didn't know, and the loss of a tight immediate family when my parents split up.

August favourites, my first trip to Wales and (not so) soaking up the summer sun

The title of this post kind of reminds me of all the Angus, Thongs, And Perfect Snogging books, but I'm going to roll with it. 
September's here, bringing with it colder evenings and darker mornings. It's the start of Autumn and that time where we seem to get some of the most beautiful sunsets. I'm excited for things to get a little more cosy, but as I've got washing I want to get dry (extreme adulting over here), I'm also happy to have a few more warm, dry days.

10 things I learnt from reading 'A Game of Thrones'

I finally caved and read A Game of Thrones, the first in the series of books that the TV show of the same name is based on. I've been putting this off for just about forever because it's an intimidating book, but once I got started I remembered how much I love being utterly absorbed in the world of a long book, and now I've even bought the second in the series to get cracking with. 

Book of the month: 'Home Fire' by Kamila Shamsie

Let's kick start this with some real talk: this is officially the best book I've read so far in 2018. It's clear to see why it won the Women's Prize for Fiction and was shortlisted for the Costa Best Novel award. I now definitely need to go and read all of Kamila Shamsie's previous works before eagerly anticipating when she'll release her next book.

Turning the tables on my anxiety

For far too long, anxiety has absolutely had a hold of me. It's been the one calling the shots, and I've been the one forced to deal with the consequences. My anxiety is a part of who I am, but at the same time there are so many other things that make me 'me' that it's not okay to give everything else up for this. In the last month or two I've seen my anxiety sky-rocket again. I'm not sure what's causing it, but I'm determined to not let it shift the control in my life away from me again.

Afternoon office snacking with vegan treats from Doisy and Dam*

I'm a grazer. If I had the choice of only ever eating meals for the rest of my life or only ever eating snacks I'd always go with the latter. Snacks are just a necessity really - who wants to curl up to watch a movie without popcorn???

Average girl size fashion from TU at Sainsburys

I've got a secret for you: my summer wardrobe has about three outfits in. Each year I think I'll rectify this, and each year it gets to the hottest part of summer and I've realised I've failed to do anything about it. Again. 

New in from Trigger publishing: 'Stand Tall Little Girl' by Hope Virgo *TW*: ED

*This post comes with a big trigger warning that the book I'm discussing is about struggling with an eating disorder*

Books about mental health are something I sometimes struggle with because they can be triggering AF. The past few that I've read haven't been too bad, but I found Stand Tall Little Girl tough. I was in a bit of a low mood when I started reading it and it was so well written and accurate that I found myself having to take a few steps back, and wanting to finish it sooner to deal with my emotions around the book.

Summer bucket list

Summer is not a time where I shine. I'm sweaty, grumpy and honestly it ruins the main joy in my life: sleep. But, I'm working on embracing things, even if they bring me discomfort, so whilst I'm waiting around for the season of chunky knits and cosy nights in to rock around, here's a few things I want to get done this summer:

A book for every mood

Picking a book can be tricky. There's the fear that you'll pick a shit one, the concern that you're reading too much of the same thing, and the need to look into yourself to ask: what do I really want to read right now? Maybe I spend too much time picking new books, but I hope at least some of you can relate?! 

Affordable base makeup from No7

No7 is definitely a brand that I completely looked over until a couple of years ago. I just feel as though they don't aim themselves at a young demographic, and the brand's always had an air of 'this is what my Grandma would use'. Except it's actually incredible??? I'm fully ready to embrace my inner Grandma on any given occasion, so it's not a surprise that this is no different.

July favourites and life update

Another hot hot month has been and gone, and I'm just as hay-fever riddled as ever. At this point I'm wondering how I've managed to avoid dehydration what with all the sniffing and the sneezing and general snot. Delightful.

Mid-year(ish) book freak out tag

It's been a long time since I sat down to do a tag, but I couldn't resist this one! There's a lot of questions, so I'm going to get straight on it:

Getting my life in order with a bullet journal habit tracker

Bullet journals are something I can spend hours obsessing over on Pinterest, Instagram, and well the entire Internet really. I'm a sucker for a good double page spread. Now, I spend a bit of time most evenings pouring my heart into my bujo, and having a habit tracker is something I'd been meaning to set up since February. Naturally June was month one.

How do I know if I've got a mental health problem?

Mental health and physical health can be likened to one another in a myriad of ways, but ultimately although they are somewhat similar, there's one clear difference: with the majority of physical health concerns, there are a number of tests that can give you an answer as to what's going on. You go to the doctors with a problem, and you expect them to (eventually) be able to say, okay, you have X illness, and here's what we can do. I'm not saying this happens with all physical health conditions, or that things always get diagnosed correctly at first all the time. For mental health issues however, there are no blood tests or urine samples or anything that can really tell you if you have a problem. 

Trying out The Body Shop's new vegan body yogurts

Ever since L'Oreal sold The Body Shop to a cruelty free parent company there's been such a massive improvement in their products and ethics. From campaigning for more sustainable environments around the globe, to their petition to end animal testing, to producing more vegan products, I am here for this improved version of one of my favourite stores.

Mid-year(ish) 2018 goals update: where am I now?

2018 has been the speediest year of my life, but also one of, if not the absolute, best. I'm working in a job I love, I've got a strong support network around me and I've even managed to keep a plant alive for a whole month. Everything's comin' up Milhouse.