I mean, if it's not obvious I intended to post this weeks ago and then life* (*staring at tiktok mindlessly for hours on end and eating snacks) got in the way, then I don't know what is. I've had a mixture of lots more time for bullet journalling since lockdown started, which is great, but also feeling massively drained and un-creative, the more so as time goes on. I feel like in a few weeks I won't be picking it up at all, but I'm hoping I instead start to feel a bit more inspired again soon.
My laptop is finally fixed and I can actually post again?! I've spent the last few weeks focusing on finishing my core pages in my bullet journal instead of posting on here or spending hours browsing recipes on pinterest. Maybe it was for the best I had a break. Anyway, my core pages in my bullet journal are the ones I'll use all year round - calendars, book trackers, film trackers, savings reminders etc. This year I'm still using a few bits leftover from 2019's core pages, so it's a pretty concise set up.
I had this grand plan for the second half of 2018 to create intricate themed spreads for every week of every month, with a whole host of progress pages (habit trackers, stats trackers etc) included. I'd even do a monthly blog post on how things went with a look into all of the spreads and what they meant. I didn't even get one month properly completed the way I wanted to.
Bullet journals are something I can spend hours obsessing over on Pinterest, Instagram, and well the entire Internet really. I'm a sucker for a good double page spread. Now, I spend a bit of time most evenings pouring my heart into my bujo, and having a habit tracker is something I'd been meaning to set up since February. Naturally June was month one.
I find being creative with no boundaries or guidance really, truly hard. Hand me a piece of paper and a pencil and tell me to draw what I want and I'm lost. I'll dither, get anxious and end up producing something that objectively looks shit. From anyone's point of view. But, hand me some instructions, and a little extra guidance and I'm golden.
Bullet journals were always something I thought I wasn't creative enough to do, or wouldn't get on with at all, but as it turns out, that's just not true. I ADORE my dotty little book of ideas, plans and memories.
A few months ago I got totally absorbed by the idea of starting a scrapbook to document my favourite times so that I could look back on them when I'm sad. Aaaand then I realised I totally had a mini scrapbook at the ready in the form of my bullet journal?
Although I try to keep things as positive as I can over on Nourish ME, the truth is that behind the scenes things can be a lot less optimistic. I don't want to use the word negative, because I really do try to keep the negative vibes away, but sometimes sadness can get overwhelming.
I've been struggling with depression, and the anxiety that goes hand in hand with it, for over four years now. Keeping my little corner of the internet over here at Nourish ME has been SO helpful, but there is a whole myriad of other things I do to help ease the impact of these illnesses upon my life.
About a year and a half ago, I started a 12-week course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and I actually found it incredibly useful in combating my anxiety issues. I know loads of different people have had a whole variety of different experiences with it, but that's mine (if you want me to write a whole post on what was involved with my CBT and what I thought about it all then let me know).
When I was perusing Pinterest a couple of months ago, I came across an article - let's face it, it was probably buzz feed - all about self-help and interactive journals. Paired with an old Waterstones voucher I found in a drawer, this idea was all good to go and I picked out the journal that looked best and 'voila', there I was with my very own Start Where You Are journal. I am so glad I came across this because it has honestly worked hand in hand with the things I learnt on my course of CBT.
The Start Where You are journal takes you on a journey of self-exploration, and gets its name from the notion that you don't need anything but yourself, here and now, to get started on this journey. Each double page spread features a watercolour quotation designed by the author Meera Lee Patel, as well as a thinking and writing prompt. Some of my favourites so far have been: 'write down ten big dreams that haven't come true yet' and 'fill these tiger outlines with three of your biggest fears, then colour them in until you can't see the fear anymore'.
I love the whole concept behind this journal because, although I'm a really creative person, and love exploring through that medium, I'm really rather shit at anything artsy. Honestly, I'm below stick people level. If you asked me to sit down and create a nice photo set-up or a descriptive piece of text, I'd be all over it, but ask me to draw something and let my mind flow free? I'm stumped.
Everyone at the moment is obsessed with Bullet Journals, and I honestly love the idea behind them, but in reality, my lack of artistic creativity and my ungodly scrawl would make me so upset that my BuJo would just make me cry. This is where my Start Where You Are journal comes in. It nurtures my creativity, occasionally asking me to draw certain things, colour things, or just allows me to bask in the beauty of Meera's watercolours. Thus, I have the perfect medium: I can be creative, without having to form my own creative destiny.
There's absolutely no set order you have to fill the journal in in, or guidelines over how frequently you need to fill each page in. I've incorporated my Start Where You Are journal into my pre-bed anti-anxiety rituals that help get me ready for the night. It gives me an opportunity to reflect over my day, and I have a quick glance through all of my previous filled in pages before starting a new one.
All in all, this journal has really helped me to learn a lot more about myself, and has helped me embrace the positivity in every single day. It's worked hand in hand with my CBT, and reminded me that each day is special, and each day is worth it.
Have you used a similar journal?
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