New in | Lingerie that gives me my confidence back

Underwear shopping can be miserable, especially when what's looking back at you in the mirror isn't what you want to see. I've been really struggling with my own body image recently, and I've actually gone back to look over all of the parts of my dealing with weight gain series to remind myself that I can handle this, and I can love myself. It's still tough. 
I've never been one of those girls who spends every spare penny in Ann Summers, and pops on a lacy thong every morning. I admire them, hell, I'd LOVE to be that comfortable with my own body, but it feels so much more 'me' to pop on a ratty old bra and not try. Because not trying means that I can't be disappointed when I don't feel sexy, right?
My boobs have always been something I'm proud of. They're one part of my body that I genuinely love, and the weight gain hasn't really affected them too much. But not looking in the mirror has. I'd forgotten that I do actually like some parts of my body. I know the whole 'I like my boobs' is a controversial statement because they're often the parts of your body that men comment on, but I love my boobs for me, not because other people like them. 
I don't really have a full-length mirror in my home at the moment, so when I went on holiday and was faced with one I was more than a little horrified at first. My body had expanded and I was shocked. I couldn't face it. And then after a few days, I got used to it: this is my body, and it's not going anywhere. 
I'm badly in need of some new underwear because of all the reasons above; what's the point in buying sexy bras or pants if you don't think you're attractive, or you hate your body? That's the mindset I had wound up in. I scoured so many shops when I was on holiday last month, and kept just finding bras that were too OTT for what I wanted, and a little out of my budget (I'm looking at you Victoria's Secret), or even just a little too plain. I wanted something that would make me feel sexy, without making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
And then I came across these bralettes. I tried one on in the fitting rooms (which I never normally do) and I fell totally in love. It was the white one btw. It's the softest, most comfy and most delicately beautiful bra that I've ever worn. Looking in the mirror with it on made me realise that I could be sexy, that I still had it in me, despite what I'd told myself because of the weight gain. I couldn't leave without the matching lace thong. 
The baby pink bralette isn't quite so comfy on my back, but I love the lace detailing of the back straps. It's a little easier to wear under summer tops than the white one, although I think that the latter could be worn as a crop top for sure. 
Red is always a colour that has suited my skin tone, and symbolised sexiness in my mind. When I spotted this red bralette in Aeropostale, I had a vision of how confident it would make me feel, knowing that this was sat under my top. It's so feminine, and so bold for me, and simply makes me feel incredible. 
It's been a real learning curve recently to remember to embrace my body and discover that I can still love it, but I'm so glad to have started to make my way on this journey.
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The $20 play suit that makes me feel a million bucks

I'm no fashion blogger, and candids are ten thousand times harder to get when you're taking the photos alone, am I right?! But, I had to show you all this lil Hollister playsuit that I picked up when we went to the States last month. For real though, if someone could teach me how to take A+ outfit photos, then I'd be on cloud nine.

Playsuits are something that I've steered way clear off since they got really popular a couple of years ago. It's not because I haven't given them a go. Oh no. Believe me, I've tried. But the several that I've owned or tried on in shops have been some of the least flattering things I've ever worn. And that's a hard thing to achieve; I've gone through a lot of fashion 'phases'. Play suits usually cover up any parts of my figure that I like, and make me look like a bit of a chunky rectangle. 

I've spoken out in the past about dealing with the weight gain that I've put on in the last year or two, and how it's affected my confidence as a blogger, but it really has impacted my confidence in general. For so long, I've fought with the idea that I can't wear certain outfits, or look at current trends because it means buying clothes in a size that I don't really want to accept that I fit into. Finally coming to terms with my size has meant that I was able to go out and buy almost a whole new wardrobe whilst I was in the States (I've filmed a massive haul of it all over on my Youtube channel). It also gave me the confidence to try this Hollister play suit on and I fell in love. I can already feel it becoming my go-to outfit this summer. I love it even more because it was only $20 - Hollister was so much cheaper in Florida than it is here in the UK.

It's got everything I want. It feels fun and flirty and it makes me feel okay about getting my thighs out. I love the little choker style detail with an open section around the cleavage. I honestly feel like I can conquer the world in this outfit, and it gave me the confidence to try on a whole bunch of clothing styles that I never would have considered going near!

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Dealing with Weight Gain Part Four: Stretch Marks

So, we're up to the fourth installment in my 'Dealing with Weight Gain' series, which seems a little mad. First I wrote generally about dealing with weight gain, then about blogger confidence, and thirdly about being on a budget. Now we're coming to a more physical aspect of it: stretch marks. 
Stretch marks are one of the weirdest things that we all consider 'unattractive' in my opinion. They occur because our skin stretches too fast for it to handle and we get tiny little tears, which form scar-like tissue. The oddest thing about this whole shame vitriol surrounding stretch marks is that even mothers are shamed for getting them because they grew another human inside of them. Like are people for real?
I am 100% of the opinion that we need to talk more about stretch marks, and encourage positivity around them. Yes, I have some new ones because I put weight on a bit too quickly, but so what? They're a part of me and ignoring it won't change that. So today I'm going to wind us all back down memory lane to discuss 13/14 year old pubescent Steph. 
Puberty was a real bitch, am I right? When you get to that age where your hips and thighs start to widen, the dreaded 'gift from nature' (who actually calls it that?!) arrives and you start to turn into a little bit of a grumpy demon. Puberty for me meant round 1 of stretch marks on my thighs. For years I stressed about them, and obsessively rubbed bio oil religiously into them, hoping every morning that they would disappear. But alas, there is no miracle product that will instantly get rid of your stretch marks. Just like scars, they're here to stay. 
I promised myself that I would never, ever let myself gain so much weight in such a little time so as to get stretch marks again. But here we are. Round 2 has hit me at the ripe old age of 22, and I'm not going to lie, when I first noticed them I was absolutely horrified. You know that sinking feeling you get in your stomach when your anxiety is so bad that your heart rate racks up some speed and you break out into a sweat? That was me looking in the mirror for about two weeks, filled with anger and self hate. 
So many nasty, nasty thoughts were running through my head about never being able to wear a swim suit again, and my boyfriend being disgusted by the sight of me. None of that has obviously happened, but it did result in a few bouts of tears before I realised that. However, a few months down the line, I've come to accept them, and I don't feel anywhere near as despair-filled as I once was. I have been using LUSH's Cup O Coffee to help reduce their appearance, which I've talked all about here. This has been helping to stimulate the skin around my stretch marks, reduce them a little and is also a nice little way to pamper myself!
I guess what I'm trying to say in this long ol' rambly post is that stretch marks are not the end of the world, or the end of your attractive life. If you go to the beach or the pool no one is going to point you out or stare or laugh at you for having them. No one is going to refuse to be near you when you're naked because of them (if this does happen, accept that they're a bellend and kick them out of your life) and you are in no way less pretty or sexy or deserving of love and attention.
Here is my video in which I go into things in a little bit more detail:

Have you ever been brought down by your stretch marks? If you are upset by them, you can always send me a DM on Twitter or quick email to chat!
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Going Cold Shoulder and Feeling Sassy

This summer has seen me at my biggest weight of my life, and so I've been feeling a little under-confident to say the least. If you've read my dealing with weight gain and blogger confidence post, then you'll know that way back in February I promised myself that my weight gain wouldn't stop me from taking outfit photos. Fast forward six months and it's safe to say that it probably has had quite an impact. 

In fact, I haven't written any kind of fashion post in the last six months, since I wrote about styling winter colours in Spring. So, now that I've moved to such a picturesque location, and have been trying to get my confidence back step by step, I figured a new fashion post was in order. Now, I'm by no means a fashion blogger, nor will I ever be. 90% of my time is spent in leggings and/or dressing gown, as I work from home. I almost always go for comfort over style and I love nothing more than changing into my favourite PJs in the evening. BUT, when I do feel a little fancy, or want an extra confidence boost I do like to dress up, and make myself feel like an actual responsible adult, yaknow?

I've actually spent hardly any money on clothes over the last six months - what with my spending ban and life priorities (ugh, why is council tax such a costly thing?!), new clothes have been totally under my radar. BUT, I found a cheeky little gift voucher in the depths of my bedroom whilst moving house, so, basically all hail the gods of gift cards. I managed to pick up this bardot top in the New Look sale and I'm so gutted they don't stock it anymore, but I've found a really similar one of theirs here for you.

Paired with my favourite red lip of summer that I picked up in my first NYX haul a couple of weeks ago, this bold bardot has been my go-to for evening dates and daytimes in the sunshine when I want to feel a little cool, but don't want to get the vest tops out.  I actually have some pretty nasty scarring on the top of one of my arms, so this top allows me to bare some flesh whilst covering that all up, which makes me happy. I'm not saying that scars and marks on your body should be concealed - do whatever makes you happy - but sometimes I do like to, especially in the sunshine as it's so dangerous to burn them. 

My favourite thing about this top is that it's so easy to dress up or down. Here I was heading out for the day, to do a little Pokemon hunting (of course), so I wore it with some simple black skinny jeans and my white espadrilles. For an evening I've leaned towards wearing it with a black midi skirt and some simple black stilettos.

What would you wear it with? 

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Review of Threads Lashes*

I've never really been a falsies girl. Thankfully I don't have the shortest lashes in the world and, to be honest? Far. Too. Much. Effort. For me, false lashes have usually been reserved for a night out, and have always just wound up on the floor of my student bedroom in the morning, trampled and a little alcohol soaked. 
BUT, when I was offered the chance to try out these lashes from Threads I decided to revolutionize how I think about and wear falsies. The last time I wore any false lashes I picked up the only ones on offer in Superdrug and soon realised why they were on offer. Did you guys notice that I didn't actually have any pictures from my birthday evening specifically? Well that's because the lashes I tried honestly made me look completely ridiculous. They were huge, and I instantly regretted purchasing them. 
So, with a firm intention to not use ones that are a little OTT again, I was a tad concerned about the sight of the Be-Bop and Vava Voom lashes in the boxes. They looked utterly voluptuous and I had visions of another birthday-esque lash disaster. 
However, as you can *hopefully* tell from the pictures, they actually really suited me. The Be-Bop lashes, which are in the first picture, are slightly more subtle, and definitely my favourite out of the pair. They were so subtle that my boyfriend didn't even notice they were false, I just got an 'oooh your eye makeup looks good today, have you done something new?'. Yes, yes I have.
I felt uber confident strutting around in these false lashes during the day, and they made me finally realise, *duh*, that falsies aren't just for nights out or special occasions; they can be worn during the day for an extra burst of confidence. Plus, um they mean you can take the ultimate selfie. So, from now on I'm totally going to be using them whenever I fancy it.
Although both sets of lashes were kindly sent to me, as always my opinions are my own.
What do you think of false lashes?
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Dealing With Weight Gain Part Two : Blogger Confidence

About a month ago I wrote this post about how I'd been dealing with my weight gain, and you guys seemed to really enjoy it, so I thought I'd talk all about how it's impacted my blogger confidence and tips on how to not let it stop you blogging if you're going through the same thing.
So, I realised that things were getting a bit bad in the weight gain department when my nine-year-old cousin informed me (kindly) that I looked like Jeff. Some context: Jeff is my chunky dwarf hamster pictured above who fills his cheeks with mountains of food and is almost an exact sphere. Brilliant, right? 
Here are some tips on how I personally have been dealing with weight gain and maintaining my confidence in blogging:
Weight gain doesn't change your skills and abilities I have to admit, I've been a bit guilty of thinking along the lines of 'good lord, why would any one even want to hear beauty/fashion/lifestyle advice from this fat girl who clearly isn't control of things?!', but this mentality gets you nowhere. In the end, my writing skills, photography skills and blog inspiration are still there, so my weight can go suck a dick, it impacts nothing and remembering that is one of the most important things you can do.
Your selfie game is still strong Have you seen the whole 'violently contouring my Christmas double chin' meme? That's been me recently, but on a more serious note, having a little bit of the ol' hamster cheek syndrome isn't going to mean you suddenly forget how to do your makeup. Don't be ashamed of posting your current favourite selfie to Instagram - your followers will still love it because of your makeup skills.
Do more of what makes you feel good Don't let weight gain get you down. Why not take a day trip to the city and take gorgeous photos to write a post on? Or buy a little present from you to you and get a piece of high end makeup to write about and make you feel super sassy when you leave the house (or just let your followers know how happy you are with it with a selfie). Even if you're not happy with your weight gain this doesn't mean all other aspects of your life have to be miserable.
Don't stop yourself from taking outfit photos Let's face it, I'm not and probably never will be a fashion blogger, but I have been thinking about taking to outfit posts recently despite my weight gain. Your followers are not going to lose interest in your blog or your fashion advice just because you've gone up one or two dress sizes. In the end, if your style is on point it's going to be so no matter what size you are. 
Be honest with yourself and your followers If you're feeling shit don't think you have to force yourself to pretend that everything's sunny. Yes, excessive negativity is tiring, but maybe make a post about 'struggles with weight gain', start a discussion about it and get it off your chest. Keeping secrets and feeling as though you always have to be false with your following will only make you feel distanced and unhappy.
I hope you found these useful! What would you add?

Best of 2015 | My Beauty Picks

2015 was a massive year in beauty for me. From discovering the importance of organic skincare. to finally getting my hands on some decent brushes, to learning how to contour(ish - I'm still a beginner!), I developed so much in my understanding of the beauty world. So, I thought I'd share with you my favourite skincare, hair care and makeup goodies that helped transform my style in 2015. and that I'm looking forward to continue using in 2016.
Haircare:
1.) LUSH H'Suan Wen Hua Hair Treatment. This is my go-to deep treatment for my long and rather unruly hair. It keeps my hair soft and glossy for weeks after I use it and it's my favourite little hair treat. 2.) V05 Plump It Up Amplifying Blow Dry Lotion. This works miracles with my thick but flat hair. Pre-brush I look a little cavewoman-esque, but after I've run a comb through it it gives my hair that extra bit of life it's missing. 3.)John Frieda Frizz Ease Moisture Barrier Intense Hold Hairspray. This saved me during a humid trip to Tenerife this year. I have that problem that seems to come with Irish genes (thanks Mum) where baby hairs stick out at the front of your head at any sign of potential moisture. This generally means goodbye Blake Lively aka Serena Van Der Woodsen high pony tails and hello being the 'before' Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries. But, this actually keeps my hair under control in a way that no other hair sprays have don. 4.) John Frieda Extra Strength 6 Effects Serum. This combined with the hairspray above is what dreams are made of. You basically whack a tiny bit onto your hands (which means it lasts forever, unless you accidentally spill half a bottle all over your bed, ffs) and comb it through wet hair from root to tip and voila you have hair that is actually manageable and protected when it comes to drying it!
Skincare:
1.) Benefit's Foamingly Clean Facial Wash. This was probably my all time favourite beauty product of the entire year, so much so that I've dedicated a whole post to reviewing it here. This product smells so good and is something that I always reach for, especially when I'm breaking out. It seems to hold the perfect middle balance between being light enough for every day use, and strong enough to clear up and avoid any breakouts. 2.) Simple Kind to Skin Hydrating Light Moisturiser. This has a firm spot in the heart of a lot of bloggers. My combination skin often breaks out if I moisturise, but when it's a little on the dry side a dab of this before bed time balances my skin out perfectly and leaves me feeling refreshed. 3.) LUSH Brazened Honey Face Mask. Usually I only buy LUSH face masks once. i get the opportunity to head in there so rarely that I like to try out different things, but Brazened Honey had me bowled over so much that I repurchased it (madness!) 4.) LUSH Snow Fairy Shower gel. Now this is something that pretty much every blogger and her mother picks up at Christmas time. A limited edition LUSH product, it's only released in the couple of months preceding Christmas, and sells out uber-quickly. This basically makes me smell like a fairy and is one of the few super pink and shimmery girly things you'll catch me indulging myself in. 5.) The Body Shop Frosted Cranberry Body Butter. This is one of The Body Shop's three key Christmas scents and I always make sure I grab a tub in the sales. I love using it all year round for a sent that's not overly sweet or too musky. Plus it keeps my skin super soft. 6.) The Body Shop Spa of the World African Ximenia Scrub. This entire range was incredible - a spa at home is something (my) dreams are made of, and this scrub was my favourite of the lot. I have very sensitive skin, so often scrubs are simply too harsh and painful for me, but the particles in this were fine enough to soften my skin without marring it. 
Makeup (face):
1.)  Real Techniques Expert Face Brush. This brush was my first foray into the world of proper beauty brushes. Don't get me wrong, I owned them, but they were incredibly cheap and simply incomparable to this. Now my foundation could be spread evenly and blended into my skin effortlessly. If you're a beginner in the world of decent makeup brushes this is definitely the first step I'd advise taking. 2.) Ecotools Mattifying Finish Brush. Not only does this look SO pretty, but it's also the perfect highlighter brush. It allows me to sweep a cheeky bit of shimmer across my cheeks, allowing me to feel confident enough to face everything that the day throws at me. 3.) Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge. This is massively popular with a lot of beauty bloggers out there and I can definitely see why. My contour game was upped massively due to the incredible blending abilities it offers (no more streaky bronzing!). 4.) Makeup Revolution Pressed Powder in porcelain soft pink. This goes on post foundation and pre contour and effectively smooths and mattifies my foundation. For £2 it's definitely a must buy in my books. 5.) MUA Undress Your Skin Highlighting Powder - Iridescent Gold. Even the name of this makes my beauty blogger senses tingle. It was the perfect highlighter for the Christmas period and is great for adding a little subtle shimmer to an evening party. 6.) Barry M Chisel Cheeks Contour Kit. As I've mentioned before, I'm hardly the queen of contour, and I was advised that this was a fab product for beginners, and I have to say my advisers weren't lying. There are three shades in the product, a white powder, a light brown and a deep brown. i only tend to use the latter two as I prefer my MUA highlighter, but the two products combined have a crazy effect - I mean, it actually looks as though I have cheekbones underneath my hamster cheeks!
Makeup (eyes):
7.) Rimmel Wonder'full Mascara with Argan Oil. This both softens and lengthens my eyelashes, making sure that they stay in good condition. 8.) Max Factor False Lash Effect Mascara. I'm pretty much too much of a wimp/inaccurate with my hands to put fake lashes on, so this is the second best thing. I've been a big fan of Benefit's They're Real mascara, but I'd say the benefits (get it?) of this one almost equal it for under half the price tag. 9.) Maybelline Eye Studio Master Precise Ink Pen Eyeliner in Black. I think everybody goes through a transition of eyeliners, usually starting with a pencil and ending up at either liquid or gel. I've been a massive fan of gel eyeliner for the past couple of years, but a slightly shaky hand, a laziness for washing my brush frequently and a small variance in my eye shape meant that 90% of the time my eyeliner didn't match on both eyes. At all. However, Maybelline stepped in with a miracle product - thank god for over browsing in Superdrug. This pen is almost effortless and allows you to create the tiniest of cat flicks and the most dramatic wings. 10.) Makeup Revolution Ultra Flawless Eyeshadow Palette. This has allowed me to be more adventurous with my makeup than ever before. A combination of day and night shades means you've pretty much got all of your go-to looks in one simple palette!
Makeup (lips):
1.) Rimmel Kate Lasting Finish Timeless All (08). I'm not usually the greatest lippy fan, preferring to go for bold eyes over bold lips, but this is the perfect shade for everyday use for me. This lets me get the confidence boosting kick from wearing some sass on my lips without it being too obvious and blatantly smearing everywhere when I decide to chow down. 2.) LUSH Mint Julips Lip Scrub. We all know that a lot of 'saviours' for our lips actually contain drying ingredients, making us feel the need to wear more lip balm and therefore buy more product. Most people bite their nails, but I chew my lips (disgusting but true), meaning I'm always in need of a saviour for my lips. LUSH have here provided an answer to my prayers. their mint julips lip scrub not only tastes exactly like a sugary mint chocolate chip ice cream, but also contains natural softening, but not drying ingredients. 3.) KORRES Jasmine Lip Butter. This is a bit of a 2 in 1. Not only does it keep your lips softened with natural organic ingredients, but it also provides a subtle feminine lip tint to your smackers. What were your favourites last year?

Body Confidence is for Life, Not Just for Summer

As soon as March hits, bringing with it a wave of no-longer-freezing weather, we start to see the campaigns encouraging us to ladies to “get bikini body ready” and the suchlike. Although this year we’ve seen a fair amount of backlash to this notion (just check out the feminist campaign against the advertisements on the Tube this year!), nobody’s saying enough about the emotional and physical impact of this media stimulus when summer has ended. Why should we be encouraged only to change our bodies during the summer months? Why is no one reminding us that body confidence is about what you feel about your body, rather than some bloke eyeing you up on the beach? What do we do if we feel disappointed that we haven’t lived up to these “expectations” imposed upon us as Autumn descends?

Well, for starters, we need to abandon this idea of “bettering ourselves” for summer, just so that we think we can look better in those short shorts. Instead, why don’t we campaign to simply feel good in our own skin, which is something that is important to us all year round? Nobody likes feeling any amount of self-hate, which is why this is so important. The reason why I chose these pictures is to remind myself that the girl in all of the photos is the same person, they just simply highlight different aspects of her. I need to accept my good with my bad and follow my own advice about encouraging body confidence. So, here are my tips on how to start your own campaign for body positivity:

1.)    Set aside a fortnightly pamper night for you and your friends and/or family. This is the perfect opportunity to give yourself an extra little bit of TLC and make yourself feel special. Roll out the facemasks, hairmasks and nail polishes and sit down for a good ol’ session of Gossip Girl.

2.)   Wear pretty underwear. It doesn’t have to be expensive – even Primark does a really elegant range these days – and it definitely doesn’t have to be for any man in your life. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and confident, because you know when you look in the mirror at the end of the day (or night) you haven’t spent all day in those out of shape pants you bought years ago and haven’t yet gotten rid of, but instead are wearing something that makes you proud of you!

3.)   Style yourself however you want. Let’s face it, even when the media isn’t trying to tell us what to wear, our parents, communities and even friends are. So what if you want to dye your hair pastel pink and get a lip ring? Or like to snuggle up in warm woolly ponchos in the Autumn? If you like it, wear it – don’t be somebody else’s mannequin.

Finally, take all of my advice with a pinch of salt. These are just things that I find really work, but we’re all different. Just remember that simply because summer is over does not mean that you’ve somehow “failed” if you haven’t changed yourself “enough” – you are who you are, and once you learn to respect that, everything will change around you and you won’t have to. 

What do you think?