10 things I learnt from reading 'The Vagina Monologues'

I don't use 'life changing' to describe a book very often, but I've got to use it now. The Vagina Monologues is a short play by Eve Ensler, and the edition I have has an absolutely incredible Foreword by Gloria Steinem. This was a quick, but heavy read, and although I would recommend it to anybody, I'll give the recommendation with a massive trigger warning for sexual assault.

Book of the month - The Handmaid's Tale

I'm not into scary things. Horror movies, creepy stories, the dark, you get the gist. What I'm trying to say is that I'm a big wimp. And the non-traditional scary things (the expanse of the ocean, the fact that we're a tiny weeny planet whirring around in a massive universe etc) make me even more scared. Basically The Handmaid's Tale petrified me and has made me an eco-warrior wreck for weeks, only wanting to force the importance of recycling and feminism on people because y'know, without these things our world could get really fucked up.

Can I be a strong woman without being independent?

This post has been loitering around in my drafts (unwritten I might add, but with the idea there) for months, but it seems important now more than ever. The recent Women's Marches against Trump and his policy have seen a weird strike back, with a whole load of people asking 'why did their husbands let them out'. In a disturbing way it's a little reminiscent of the old classic, 'who let the dogs out?', so why are people asking that about women? Everyone who joined in on the marches is simply exercising their autonomous right to go out and do what they believe in, and yet it's caused such controversy.

Body Confidence is for Life, Not Just for Summer

As soon as March hits, bringing with it a wave of no-longer-freezing weather, we start to see the campaigns encouraging us to ladies to “get bikini body ready” and the suchlike. Although this year we’ve seen a fair amount of backlash to this notion (just check out the feminist campaign against the advertisements on the Tube this year!), nobody’s saying enough about the emotional and physical impact of this media stimulus when summer has ended. Why should we be encouraged only to change our bodies during the summer months? Why is no one reminding us that body confidence is about what you feel about your body, rather than some bloke eyeing you up on the beach? What do we do if we feel disappointed that we haven’t lived up to these “expectations” imposed upon us as Autumn descends?

Well, for starters, we need to abandon this idea of “bettering ourselves” for summer, just so that we think we can look better in those short shorts. Instead, why don’t we campaign to simply feel good in our own skin, which is something that is important to us all year round? Nobody likes feeling any amount of self-hate, which is why this is so important. The reason why I chose these pictures is to remind myself that the girl in all of the photos is the same person, they just simply highlight different aspects of her. I need to accept my good with my bad and follow my own advice about encouraging body confidence. So, here are my tips on how to start your own campaign for body positivity:

1.)    Set aside a fortnightly pamper night for you and your friends and/or family. This is the perfect opportunity to give yourself an extra little bit of TLC and make yourself feel special. Roll out the facemasks, hairmasks and nail polishes and sit down for a good ol’ session of Gossip Girl.

2.)   Wear pretty underwear. It doesn’t have to be expensive – even Primark does a really elegant range these days – and it definitely doesn’t have to be for any man in your life. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and confident, because you know when you look in the mirror at the end of the day (or night) you haven’t spent all day in those out of shape pants you bought years ago and haven’t yet gotten rid of, but instead are wearing something that makes you proud of you!

3.)   Style yourself however you want. Let’s face it, even when the media isn’t trying to tell us what to wear, our parents, communities and even friends are. So what if you want to dye your hair pastel pink and get a lip ring? Or like to snuggle up in warm woolly ponchos in the Autumn? If you like it, wear it – don’t be somebody else’s mannequin.

Finally, take all of my advice with a pinch of salt. These are just things that I find really work, but we’re all different. Just remember that simply because summer is over does not mean that you’ve somehow “failed” if you haven’t changed yourself “enough” – you are who you are, and once you learn to respect that, everything will change around you and you won’t have to. 

What do you think?