Self-care is a word that comes with a whole lot of baggage at the moment IMO, but most of us aren't 'completely fine' and need self-care to help with that. Self-care is so varied and something we all should engage in, whether or not we feel as though we're struggling with our mental health right now. I've got a whole post on 'what counts as self care' that went up last week, and this is sort of a part 2. So, here's a big ol' collection of ways to practise self-care.
1.) Make your bed. Plump your pillows up, smooth out the duvet, and put that pesky sheet corner that always pops off right back on.
2.) Make yourself your favourite snack. Mine's nachos, or melted chocolate and strawberries *drools*.
3.) Do some yoga. Stretch and feel all the contours of your body; love them.
4.) Make a big ol' hot chocolate, and smother it in whipped cream. If that's not your jam, then make a steamy coffee, tea or herbal tea, mmm.
5.) Cosy up under a blanket, in your fave PJs and have a good nap. Allow yourself to rest.
6.) Have a cry, let it out and then work on what you need to do next.
7.) Cleanse your skin and do a face mask.
8.) Have a long steamy shower, exfoliate and get yo legs all smooth.
9.) Cook a new recipe that you've wanted to try for ages but cba.
10.) Bake something you made as a child.
11.) Do a puzzle.
12.) Go for a long walk, or a jog. Plug your earphones in and switch off from life.
13.) Stroke a doggo (the ultimate form of self care tbh).
14.) Make a duvet fort in the living room, and leave it up for as long as you want.
15.) Get a pal over and watch your favourite ever film. Eat copious amounts of popcorn.
16.) Read *that* intimidating book you've been putting off forever (mine's Game of Thrones).
17.) Order your favourite takeout.
18.) Tidy your house. Put everything away you've mean *meaning* to sort out for weeks but keep ignoring. Everything seems a little better in a tidier house.
19.) Watch Netflix until it asks if you're still watching. Continue to watch.
20.) Do all the life admin that's been looming over your head that you're ignoring. Call the doctors, make that dentists appointment, file all the important mail that's piling up. Get it all done in one fell swoop.
21.) Take care of your body; go to the doctors/dentists if you're in pain. Love yourself enough to take the time to seek care.
22.) Take yourself away from toxic people. It can be hard to remove them from your life, but removing yourself from the situation at least is something that is vital.
23.) Get in touch with a pal. Ask them how they are and let them know if you're struggling. Reach out.
24.) Blast your favourite music and dance/sing around the house.
25.) Do something creative. Write some fiction, paint, draw, colour, sew.
26.) Get all dressed up and go out for a meal. Feel good about yourself.
27.) Internet shopping (but not to the point of sending yourself into a whirlwind of THERE GOES MY BILL MONEY).
28.) Take your bra off as soon as you get in from work. Let those titties be free.
29.) Drink water, keep yourself hydrated.
30.) Use sun cream in the summer. Sometimes self care is literally just looking after yourself.
31.) Have a bath smothered in bubbles, that makes you smell like some kind of angelic fairy when you get out.
32.) Moisturise your skin.
33.) Revise for exams, do uni work, do your school work; study.
34.) Read some poetry, find something that resonates with you.
35.) Wash your bed sheets, the throws you keep around your house, your blankets. Make the whole house smell fresh and beautiful.
36.) Use some hand cream. Spend a while working out the knots and tensions in your hands.
37.) Paint those nails, or go and get your gels on, treat yo self.
38.) Book a day's holiday off work if you're feeling low. Allow yourself some time out.
39.) Pack your favourite lunch for work (and then feel smug about it all day).
40.) Light candles all around the house, make it cosy.
I hope there's some ideas in here that help! Self care is simply about looking after and loving ourselves. It can be hard at times to think of it as a daily necessity, but it really is.
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For a long time now I haven't really felt like 'me' in any of my clothes. I wanted to wear clothes that the old Steph would wear, or the old OLD Steph would wear (okay, maybe not the ugly slogan t-shirts that I totally repped in my teens), but I didn't want to wear anything that the current Steph owned. And it wasn't the classic 'ugh I have nothing to wear *whilst tugging reams of clothes out of my wardrobe*' scenario, it was more the fact that I didn't want to dress the body that the current Steph has.
Recently however, I've turned a corner in terms of self love, and I've got a post all about it here. I've come to face the fact that even though I'm made to feel shit because my body takes up more space than it used to, I'm not obliged to feel shit about it. I spoke out about my successful shopping trip and buying clothes that made me feel fierce. This outfit is my favourite one.
These New Look boots (similar here) are possibly my favourite shoes I've ever bought. I've been lusting after this style for years, but I've been too shy to go for it. I didn't want to make a statement with my shoes, and draw attention to me. But now I've got them, you can bet I've been stomping around all day, feeling tall and a little kick-ass just by wearing them.
Red is my favourite bold colour. A red lip is always what I go for when I need a little extra confidence to put the pep in my step. This dress from H&M (which is only available in a size 8 and 16 in the sale now) is so simple, but exactly what I needed. It's a style of dress that I've always thought I was 'too fat' for, but when I tried it on, I fell in love. It's loose around my middle, the neckline is beautiful and it's the perfect coral-y shade of red. The dream. Realising that this shift dress actually looked good on me made me realise that it wasn't my added weight making me look bad, it was my own mind restricting myself to things that would make me blur into the background.
Now I finally have that little bit of self confidence back. I'm ready to head out tonight in this exact outfit with a pair of statement earrings and have a tasty AF meal without worrying that eating in this outfit will 'make me look fat'. I'm ready to buy a buttload more clothes that make me feel as though I can take on the world, and finally, I'm ready to absolutely rock this year.
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About a month ago I wrote this post about how I'd been dealing with my weight gain, and you guys seemed to really enjoy it, so I thought I'd talk all about how it's impacted my blogger confidence and tips on how to not let it stop you blogging if you're going through the same thing.
So, I realised that things were getting a bit bad in the weight gain department when my nine-year-old cousin informed me (kindly) that I looked like Jeff. Some context: Jeff is my chunky dwarf hamster pictured above who fills his cheeks with mountains of food and is almost an exact sphere. Brilliant, right?
Here are some tips on how I personally have been dealing with weight gain and maintaining my confidence in blogging:
Weight gain doesn't change your skills and abilities
I have to admit, I've been a bit guilty of thinking along the lines of 'good lord, why would any one even want to hear beauty/fashion/lifestyle advice from this fat girl who clearly isn't control of things?!', but this mentality gets you nowhere. In the end, my writing skills, photography skills and blog inspiration are still there, so my weight can go suck a dick, it impacts nothing and remembering that is one of the most important things you can do.
Your selfie game is still strong
Have you seen the whole 'violently contouring my Christmas double chin' meme? That's been me recently, but on a more serious note, having a little bit of the ol' hamster cheek syndrome isn't going to mean you suddenly forget how to do your makeup. Don't be ashamed of posting your current favourite selfie to Instagram - your followers will still love it because of your makeup skills.
Do more of what makes you feel good
Don't let weight gain get you down. Why not take a day trip to the city and take gorgeous photos to write a post on? Or buy a little present from you to you and get a piece of high end makeup to write about and make you feel super sassy when you leave the house (or just let your followers know how happy you are with it with a selfie). Even if you're not happy with your weight gain this doesn't mean all other aspects of your life have to be miserable.
Don't stop yourself from taking outfit photos
Let's face it, I'm not and probably never will be a fashion blogger, but I have been thinking about taking to outfit posts recently despite my weight gain. Your followers are not going to lose interest in your blog or your fashion advice just because you've gone up one or two dress sizes. In the end, if your style is on point it's going to be so no matter what size you are.
Be honest with yourself and your followers
If you're feeling shit don't think you have to force yourself to pretend that everything's sunny. Yes, excessive negativity is tiring, but maybe make a post about 'struggles with weight gain', start a discussion about it and get it off your chest. Keeping secrets and feeling as though you always have to be false with your following will only make you feel distanced and unhappy.
I hope you found these useful! What would you add?
Weight gain is often a taboo subject - you can't really go up to someone and ask them how they're feeling about the fact that they've put on a few pounds. But, I want to talk about my own experience over the last few months, and how I've kept myself from falling into a pit of self hatred and despair, as I've done when I've gained a bit of weight in the past.
So, here's what happened really. After I graduated I worked in a pub over summer and joined a gym. Although I was on my feet for at least seven hours five days a week and going to the gym at least once a week I was also eating pub food every day, aka a recipe for disaster. I usually like to cook my own meals, and had been going dairy free, so this obviously had a fairly large impact upon my body (get the pun?).
In October however I got a new job, one behind a desk. At the same time my gym membership ran out and I didn't renew it. I also managed to convince myself that my five minute bike ride to and from work basically was the same as the amount of exercise I was doing at the pub, so I could afford to eat what I wanted (note to self, this is a lie!). Snacking is a major issue at work when I'm sat in front of a computer all day, and there's a vending machine upstairs, and things may have gotten a little out of hand - two chocolate bars every day is not a thing I should be partaking in.
Despite actually getting a new gym membership I was unable to use it for five weeks as our car broke down and we couldn't physically get to the gym. This was incredibly frustrating and I may or may not have used it as an excuse not to bother even exercising at home.
So where did it all come to a head? Well, my clothes stopped fitting. If you've ever tried on a dress that fit a few weeks before and the zip will no longer go all the way up, you probably know the feeling of absolute self-loathing that I did as I stood in tears glaring at the mirror. What's even worse is when clothes that you used to have for your "fat days" when you were feeling super bloated and hadn't been eating right for a couple of weeks stop fitting. I'm currently down to one pair of jeans and zero dresses, and nothing is okay about that. Things got truly awful when I was late to work because I bent down in my work trousers and they just completely split open and I had to go back to the house and get changed. Believe me, explaining to your manager that you were late because of your weight gain is not exactly confidence boosting.
However, I have managed not to let it get me down completely, and here's why:
- I've remembered that perhaps over eating isn't the worst habit I could have fallen into considering how hard a year I've had. Despite the weight gain getting me down I know that it's temporary, and I want to lose it in a healthy rather than drastic way as I've done in the past.
- Buy new clothes. Don't pine after the old ones too much! In the end, trying to squeeze into jeans that simply don't do up at the top, or tops that show off all your lumps and bumps is going to make you unhappy everyday. On the other hand, having a few new pretty clothes is going to boost your confidence when it's at its lowest.
- I've made sure that I don't completely forget to eat healthy foods. I believe that what you eat has a massive effect on your mental state, which is partly why we all find it so hard to pick ourselves out of the weight gain slump. I've started making sure that I have hot honey and lemon water to start my day off right in the mornings, and remember to eat plenty of fruit and at least two vegetables per day. I've only started doing this in the past couple of weeks and the effects on how I felt about myself were astonishing.
- Make an action plan. As soon as I head back up to my house in Leamington after the Christmas period I'm going to start going to the gym again as the car is (finally) fixed, wahoo! Me and my boyfriend are lucky enough to be heading skiing at the beginning of January so I'll be getting a rapid introduction to the notion of exercising every day (Lord, help me!). I'm hoping that after this I'm going to head to the gym twice a week and do a daily yoga session at home. Last year I did Yoga with Adriene's 30 days of yoga twice and the flexibility gains I made were amazing! I'm determined to nail crow by the end of this year, as well as being able to hold a non wobbly plank for a decent amount of time. Dinner, breakfast and lunch are going to be a feature of my life every day, and will enhance my strength and ability to perform longer and better workouts. I'm going to be moving away from cardio and towards weights and full body exercises in the gym
I hope you find this helpful! Do you have any 2016 fitness goals?
