The last few months there's been something a little off that I couldn't quite put my finger on, or fix. I eventually realised that it was homesickness, but not for somewhere I could visit, or even move back to, but instead for a place that no longer exists, or perhaps never did in the first place.
Eight months ago I packed a truckload of stuff my bags and moved an hour and a half away from the town I'd called home for the last four years. Although the move was exciting - it signalled the start of my life away from uni and my parents as a 'real adult', it was also terrifying. The town I needed to start calling home contained no one for me apart from my boyfriend: not one single family member, friend or even acquaintance I could call on. So, for the last eight months, as I've been adjusting to my new life, I've been hit with waves of homesickness, both for my university town, with all the friends I'd left behind, and the town I grew up in, where my family remains. These are the top ten things that I've found really help when homesickness overwhelms you:
1.) Get in touch with people you miss. This sounds simple, but it's one I kept forgetting to do, and it made me even more lonely. Drop them a Facebook message, and check in with how they're getting on. You can chat about what's changing back at home, and re-connect with your home-town that way.
2.) Re-visit your home town. Just because you've moved away doesn't mean you're gone forever. Go back and see everyone every so often, it'll help you to stay in touch with them. Revisit your old stomping grounds and discover what's new.
3.) Connect with your new town. There's only so much looking back into the past that will really help. Discover quirky new restaurants, or take a wander to the local parks. The release of Pokemon Go at the same time as me moving helped wonders in getting me out and about, and discovering new places in my new town.
4.) Don't isolate yourself. For ages I felt like an outsider in the town I moved to, and I really didn't make too many attempts to get to know people. This month I've met up with two local bloggers for coffee and joined a gym to enlarge my social circle here.
5.) Talk about how you feel. Whether it's to somebody living with you, or someone you've left behind. Express how you're feeling about the move, and they may have some suggestions or ideas to perk you up.
6.) Take some time out. Acknowledging that you feel homesick is fab, but it's important to recognise that it can have a massive toll on how you're feeling. Take an evening off of chores or hobbies, and just chill out. Make your favourite food, stick on a favourite film and consider why you're feeling homesick, and what might help: is it because you're missing someone in particular? Or a favourite place to go? Or just the comfort of being there?
7.) Engage in some 'home comfort'activities. You know the ones I mean: popping on a onesie, ordering a dominoes and binge watching some Netflix. Exactly as you would have done when you're feeling a bit down where you used to live. Just because you've moved doesn't mean everything has to change.
8.) Put up your homely accents asap. Moving to a new home can make everything feel a bit sterile and bare. Once you've got the main bits of furniture sorted, put things up that make the space feel a bit more 'you'. Get those candles out, pop your favourite bedding on and hang your photo frames up.
Have you moved away from home recently? What did you find helped you?
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We all know how glad I was to leave my student house, but as uni season is about to start once more I thought I would do a little post on tips to make your uni house feel a little more homely. Moving away from home for the first time can, frankly, be terrifying, and moving in with your friends (or friends of friends) can be more than a little daunting too.
Most of the time, student homes can be a tad grotty. In our third and fourth years in a student home, the people I lived with and myself opted for the cheapest accommodation we could find. It was pretty rank to begin with, so adding the combination of four boys and one very messy Steph to that mix hardly helped the situation. However, over the four years I spent in student accommodation, I came up with some pretty nifty little tricks to make everything feel more comfortable. The anxiety that I suffer from is worst in places that I don't feel are really 'me' or are cosy and comfy, so this was really important to me! Without any more rambling, here are my top ten tips:
1.) Ensure you have a space that is entirely yours. I know this sounds pretty simple, but as I lived with my partner at uni, this was something we really worked hard at making sure we had. Having a space that you can completely call your own means that when you don't want to be disturbed, you can go back to your space and have a little 'me time'.
2.) Make sure a weekly clean is done of shared areas and your room. One of my favourite parts about visiting home when I was at uni was that I could actually touch anything without being worried that I would end up with sticky hands or a whole horde of germs. Even if you don't like cleaning yourself, discuss hiring a cleaner with your flatmates - splitting the cost would make it minimal. We all feel better in a clean and tidy environment, so making sure your student house is one is bound to make you feel a little better.
3.) Candles. Lots of them. Living with four boys in my third year at uni made me realise that sports bring home a lot of unpleasant odours. Now, I'm not saying this is solely a male thing, but as the only non sportsperson in the house, I do like to think that I wasn't the one making everywhere smell of mud and grass and BO. Who knows. So, I set up candles in the living/dining area and one in my bedroom. It made sure that our house didn't smell too student-y and was also really comforting for me when I was working. I'm used to having a tonne of candles on at home whilst doing work, so it made me feel very relaxed.
4.) A teddy, blanket or pillow from home. I know this one sounds super childish, but do you know what? Out of the six different people that I lived with at uni, every one of them had either a teddy or blanket from home. Even if they wouldn't admit it to the average Joe. Curling up with one of these on a night when you're feeling a bit shitty and missing home is the best, especially if it still smells like home!
5.) A throw and cute cushions to cover an ugly-ass sofa. I don't know why landlords of student housing love the most horrendous sofas, but they seem to. I'm pretty sure half of the ones I've seen were taken off of a skip they're so old. They're also usually looking pretty dirty and untrustworthy. A nice pale throw can really help to brighten up a gloomy living room, and cushions are sometimes totally necessary so you don't fall into the sofa's uncomfortable bones.
6.) Flowers. I only discovered the wonder of fresh flowers in my final year and I really feel like I missed out before. They just add some extra brightness to the living room, and seem to perk everyone's mood up a little.
7.) Throw open the curtains and windows to let in some air every so often. I have so many memories of me whining at school or at home when teachers or my mum decided to 'let some air in' like ugh I was cosy, can you not. BUT, when you're spending seven or eight hours at your desk working on uni stuff, it's really helpful to open some windows for an hour or so to get some fresh air in. This also helps to stop your room smelling musty. We got into such a bad habit at all of my student houses of just not opening the curtains, and keeping up with that to let in some light every day not only makes things feel a lot less cramped and miserable, but also makes it harder for mould to grow.
8.) Bring some old movies with you. Snuggling down with a 90s or Disney movie and some snacks is one of my favourite things to do when I'm feeling low. I don't know about you, but watching movies from my childhood definitely makes me feel more at home, and it's even better if you can persuade everyone else to have a uni house movie watching night!
9.) Have special snacks in your room/food cupboard. Okay, this one is a little biased to all you fellow emotional eaters out there. I have some foods that definitely remind me of home, or that I like to eat when I feel rubbish. Cheese smothered nachos and fruit dipped in melted chocolate (not together) are my go-to when I'm feeling really miserable, for example. Boiled eggs with faces drawn on are my go-to when I'm feeling homesick and need a little morning pick-me-up. Whatever your go-to is, have some hidden away in the house for when the stress of uni life gets on top of you.
10.) Put fresh sheets on your bed every week or fortnight. Is there a better feeling than popping on clean PJs and getting into fresh sheets? I really don't think so. I found it SO hard to keep up with this when I first started uni and my mum wasn't there to help me anymore, but sleeping in grotty sheets is pretty miserable. Plus, going out and choosing some new duvet sets for when you start uni really makes the bed feel as if it's your own.
What would you add to the list? I really hope this post was helpful!
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