Dealing with weight gain part eight: taking anti-depressants

Can you believe that this is the eighth part of my lil series about dealing with weight gain? You can head back through the times via my last post on it here. This one's a crossover into another mental health chat; I've been absolutely loving delving into these on this blog recently.

So, it's pretty well known that the majority of anti-depressants can affect your weight. They can actually cause you to lose your appetite, and as a result, shed a few pounds, but it's far more common for them to cause you to gain a little weight. I've definitely noticed a difference in my metabolism and my appetite since I started taking them, and in all honesty it's really gotten me down in the past. It was one of the reasons why I went cold turkey on my anti-depressants, which is 100% something you should never do and I wholeheartedly regret. 

You see, I'd started to blame my pills for my weight gain. I longed for the 'old' me that was smaller and convinced myself I was more happy when I was slimmer. I wasn't. Before I was taking my pills I was at breaking point. I was miserable and a danger to myself. But, retrospect puts a shiny light on things and I decided that losing weight was the way forward: I wasn't struggling because of my mental health, I was struggling because I was fat, duh.
And yes, there were parts of weight gain that made me feel down. Not being able to fit in my favourite jeans anymore, or that time I ripped a pair of trousers by trying to crouch down were humiliating and a little soul-crushing. But weight gain wasn't the cause of my issues. It was (and is) a result of them. And that's not just because of my anti-depressants. My diet and lifestyle have played a much bigger role in this.
This one's really a case of weighing up the pros and cons. Yes, getting chunkier seems like it sucks, but honestly? Most of why I was feeling and still feel bad is because of an external pressure. I'm upset that I don't look like other girls, or that I go into shops now and it can be hard to find a size that fits me. I'm upset that people won't want to sit next to me on a bus because I seep into their side of the seat and I'm upset that I'll be judged for what I'm eating when I go out. 
If you take away all these external forces, when it's just me and my body, weight gain doesn't bother me. If I never had to see another person I would be happy with the way I look. So the question is, do I really want to put my mental health in jeopardy because I don't want other people to think worse of me? Hell no.
Your mental health is important and life changing. Choosing to not take medication that is there to help you with a condition you're suffering with is never going to be the right idea. If you need those pills, take those pills, because the possibility of putting on a few pounds is far better than the certainty of struggling against your own mind.
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