What is it really like to work in a Wetherspoons?

I'm gonna kick start this by saying that I genuinely loved the time I spent working in a Wetherspoons. Everything is going to be a lil bit tongue-in-cheek in this post, and there's no malice intended behind my words. Also, it's not a weird Kopparberg spon, I just figured this post would be a fab excuse to buy one of my favourite ciders 'for the blog', ya know?
So, working at Wetherspoons was my first job post-uni, aka my first job as a degree holder. I'd never worked in a pub or restaurant before and honestly thought I'd hate the whole thing. But I loved it. It was hella stressful, and filled with long hours, but it was so sociable and relatively responsibility-free that I found it a (mostly) enjoyable experience.

Let's get to the nitty gritty of it. It's not as easy as it looks. They don't just let you loose serving alcohol all day when you start; you have to go for an all day training course before you do anything, and continue to do online training whilst you work there. Compared to a whole lot of other pubs you could work in, Wetherspoons are surprisingly strict. Just putting it out there, but a Spoonie knows what they're talking about when it comes to products. 

In case of a random inspection (which happens weekly), you have to know how to perfectly serve every single drink available, which glass it needs to go in, how much ice you need, etc etc. You even need to have things perfect down to the bottle facing the customer. It makes you disciplined and ensures that you know exactly what you're doing, so make sure you respect your server. 

Knowing what you're doing makes it even MORE frustrating when you get the customer that yells 'can you even pour a pint'. Because yes, you can. There's a whole bunch of things that can go wrong when you're pouring that are pretty uncontrollable, and sometimes a bad pint is unavoidable. But heckling isn't. Just don't do it. You're never going to get served a shoddy pint so just stahp. 
Before I worked there, I would never have thought this, but Wetherspoons pubs are hella clean in comparison to a LOT of other places. The close down routine at night is tough, takes forever, and makes you lose a bit of your soul each day. BUT, it's thorough. And this goes for the kitchens as well as bars. 
Yes, you start to question your decision to work there when you're well on your way to a twelve hour shift and you've just broken another glass because who doesn't get sloppy when you're tired? But a cheeky bit of takeout on your way home kinda solves all those problems.
I always thought that you'd face the real alcoholics as the day started to wind down, but that's definitely not the case. It's the men that come in every morning and wait at the bar until the clock ticks over to nine so that you can serve them their pint. This was the only part of the job that I really found upsetting, because drinking a pint of Rattler at 9am is not okay, and neither is insisting that your pint gets poured at 8:59 so you can hand over your money and start drinking at exactly 9. 
I learnt a whole lot whilst working there, but the scariest thing was that there's a special kind of 'sick sand' that exists in the world. It soaks up the liquid in sick, turning everything into lumpy sand so that you can sweep it up. We didn't have to use it very often, but the couple of times that we did were bad, sad days. The second worst thing I learnt was definitely that working in a pub on a hangover is never okay. Especially when someone orders a round of sambuca at 2pm and you have to pour the shots out. Not. Alright.
There's so much involved in being a Spoonie, and I honestly think everyone should have to give it a go to understand how unacceptable your behaviour can be, and why you should give someone that's clearly working hard to help you a break. From the 80 year old that asked me to wipe his bottom (of his glass) every day, to the guy that threw a pint of beer all over my manager at midday, there's always a strange one in the crowd, but there are some absolute gems of regular customers, that I really was sad to leave.
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